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Friday, March 5, 2010

Why Facebook is for Old Fogies

This is from an article by Lev Grossman that appeared in Time Magazine in Feb. 2009. This is older people telling younger people why they (the old fogies) are on Facebook. 1. Facebook is about finding people you've lost track of. And, we've lost track of more people than you've ever met. Remember who you went to prom with junior year? See, we don't. We've gone through mulitiple schools, jobs and marriages. Each one of those came with a complete cast of characters, most of whom we have forgotten existed. But Facebook never forgets. 2. We're no longer bitter about high school. You're probably still hung up on any number of petty slights, but when that person who used to call us that thing we're not going to mention here, because it really stuck, asks us to be friends on Facebook, we happily friend that person. Because we're all grown up now. We're bigger than that. Or some of us are, anyway. We're in therapy, and it's going really well. 3. We never get drunk at parties and get photographed holding beer bottles in suggestive positions. We wish we still did that. But we don't. 4. Facebook isn't just a social network; it's a business network. And unlike, say, college students, we actually have jobs. What's the point of networking with people who can't hire you? Not that we'd want to work with anyone your age anyway. Given the recession...and the amount of time we spend on Facebook...a bunch of hungry, motivated young guns is the last thing we need around here. 5. We're lazy. We have jobs and children and houses and substance-abuse problems to deal with. At our age, we don't want to do anything. What we want is to hear about other people doing things and then judge them for it. 6. We're old enough that pictures from grade school or summer camp look nothing like us. These days, the only way to identify us is with Facebook tags. 7. We have children. There is very little that old people enjoy more than forcing others to pay attention to pictures of their children. Facebook is the most efficient engine ever devised for this. 8. We're too old to remember e-mail addresses. You have to understand: we have spent decades drinking diet soda out of aluminum cans. That stuff catches up with you. We can't remember friends' e-mail addresses. We can barely remember their names. 9. We don't understand twitter. Literally. It makes no sense to us. 10. We're not cool, and we don't care. There was a time when it was cool to be on Facebook. That time has passed. Facebook now has 150 million members, and it's fastest growing demographic is 30 and up. At this point, it's way cooler not to be on Facebook. We've ruined it for good, just like we ruined "Twilight" and skateboarding. So git! And while you're at it, you damn kids better get off our lawn too. Repost borrowed from Carla's Views . I have to admit that only recently did I breakdown and open a Facebook page only because Glynda forced me to so I could see pictures of her new grandbaby. I can't say that I love FB yet but it was a pleasant suprise when several friends emailed me for my birthday and I had no idea that FB gave your friends a heads up in that area. Thanks Lana and Barbara.

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