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Wednesday, May 27, 2015

A little history about me

My friend Sue at Impromptu Home asked me about Mr. Miller so I thought I'd do a post about it.

I've been divorced since my youngest was a baby.  I think it was around the early 80's.  If I didn't have kids, I'd probably forget there ever was a Mr. Miller.  But I digress, let's start at the beginning.

I was 20 years old living in my hometown, Houston, Tx.  The Galleria and it's ice skating rink were new and exciting, and going to the Galleria was a big deal, not like going to the mall is now.

I've always dreamt big.  I thought I could be Peggy Fleming (circa 1968) if I ever went ice skating.  I could see myself as fluid movement on the ice.  The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to try it, but, of course, I was afraid of making a fool of myself too.  Finally one day as I sat down into my seat at a college class, I decided I was going to do it.  I walked out of class and drove straight to the Galleria and tied on some skates.

Now let me just preface this account with the fact that roller skating had been a pretty big thing as I was growing up.  I did go to the rink but I never really enjoyed it because I wasn't any good at roller skating.  I have a lousy sense of balance and limited control of my ankles/legs.  So why did I think I could ice skate?  Just another one of my crazy ideas.

Back to the ice skating rink.  I noticed a group of 4 or 5 boys my age on the ice. They were slip-sliding around and I thought that if they could do it, so could I. Out on the ice I went.  Suffice it to say I was not any good.  My legs kept doing the splits and I ended up on the ice repeatedly.

There was one handsome, long-haired hippie boy that kept circling by and picking me up.  Remember this was the beginning of the 70s.   The Vietnam War was on TV every night and long-haired boys and girls without bras were everywhere on the streets and in college.

After picking me up again, we took a break and drank some hot chocolate together.  We found out that we lived several blocks from each other.  I had had my fill of trying to ice skate with visions of being another Peggy Fleming completely dashed from my brain.

I found out he and his friends were from Louisiana.  I had always love Louisiana as I had relatives in southern parts of the state.  Two weeks later his father had heart problems and he had to go back to Louisiana.  I was pretty bummed.  Not to long after that I got word that he wanted me to come to Louisiana for the weekend.  I rode down with one of his friends and essentially never came back.

We did return for my car and my things out of my apartment and off to Louisiana I went.  I know this is getting long but I'm almost through.

His hometown was Alexandria, Louisiana.  It had a population of 50,000 at the time.  That included the Air Force base and all the tiny little cities around it. There was only one strip center for a shopping center.  Most of the stores were local mom and pop stores, although they were very nice stores.  There was a small downtown with two department stores.  One was two story.  It was the only two story building I can remember beside the courthouse/jail.

There were several small lakes near Alexandria and a national forest.  I had gone from a city of 1 million to 50,000.  I had gone from mega shopping centers to 1 strip mall.  I had gone from a city half the size of Texas to one the size of my subdivision.  And most of all, I had gone to a southern city where the men disappeared every weekend to hunt and fish, and the women were still subservient.  We are talking the old South.

Of course, most of that has changed except for the love of outdoors and the men disappearing on the weekends.

I spent 10 years in Alec (that was the nickname for the town).  I learned to love the country - something I had not really experienced before.  I married a man that I loved so much but was totally different.  A lot of what I admired about him was that difference yet the difference was what tore us apart - that and immaturity on both parts.

After nearly two years of divorced living in Alec, I moved back to Houston and 3 months later I met the next love of my life.  I'll tell you about that in another post.

I had two children with Mr. Miller.  The youngest was about a year old when the marriage began to fall apart.  I had deep resentment and anger toward Mr. Miller for a long long time.  I regret the waste and aggravation my anger caused me.

I have never remarried.  I've worked in law offices all my life.  I loved it but between raising two kids by myself and putting up with lawyers, there just wasn't enough of myself left to devote to a relationship.

I'm sorry about that.  I read about your lives and the companionship you share with your spouse and regret that I didn't have that.  Now that I am retired, I guess I could have the energy and time to commit to a relationship.

I have tried that online thing and I did meet one really nice guy but it never went anywhere.  At 65, I'm not the beauty queen I once was.  I do think I'm wonderful and enjoy my life. I love all the deep thoughts I have time for.  I love doing my little hobbies.  I have good friends whose company I enjoy but yes, I'm sorry I never remarried.  I'm sorry I don't have a spouse to share the memories of the last 30 years.  But it is what it is.  Not bad, but could have worked out just a little bit better.

Got any men friends you want to hook me up with?  Just tell them to drop me a line.  Hahaha.  Never quit laughing.

And that, my friends, is what happened to Mr. Miller.




8 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing! My (current) hubby and I have been married only 11 years. The first Mr. Gwen I was married to 24 and then another 6 years. !!!

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  2. I am cloning my husband because he "da bomb" and I will sell that clone and become rich, very rich (insert evil laugh)
    Would you like the first one off the assembly line? He's a bit younger at 60, but he will make you belly laugh every day. Easy going, not as fast as he used to be, likes to cook or as he calls it "create" in the kitchen so he'll feed you too. Likes a woman with meat on her bones and confidence. See? i'm making money Barbara!!

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  3. i really enjoy the time I spend with my women friends, but I do have to say that I really miss having a man in my life.

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  4. Hi Barbara,

    Your life sounds pretty complete to me! Don't believe everything you read in blogland. All that "I married my best friend" stuff sounds a little sappy to me, lol!

    I think your life turned out great and you should be VERY proud of yourself.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Sue
    xo

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  5. Hub and I have survived 43 years together, an anomaly among couples of our generation. You never know, sometimes when you least expect it life surprises..anyway, glad I found your blog.

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  6. By the time I was 35 I had been married and divorced twice. After talk of marrying a third time, I got smart and decided I would get my kids raised before I considered having a man in my life again. Then somewhere in my 40s I decided that marriage just isn't for me. I like the idea of growing old with someone, but the reality is that I like being on my own, doing what I want when I want to, and making my own decisions. I think I am more content on my own than I ever was with a man. There are certainly advantages to being married, but a lot of not so good too. Just my two cents. Whether alone by choice or not, I admire your ability to go it alone.

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  7. It's always lovely, to find out more, about the bloggers we read. Like seeing where they live and etc. And especially hearing how they happened to be-where-they-are-today, as it were.

    It all kind of makes them more 'real." If that makes any sense. :-)))))))

    Thank you for sharing...

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  8. Well, I'd say you have a very full life. Besides, marriage isn't what it's cracked up to be.

    My mom was married 3 times and finally gave up on men completely in her 40s. Hasn't dated one since and seems pretty darn happy about it.

    I've been married 3 times and I'm wondering if I'll ever get married again. I'm dating a nice guy and a lot of people think we're married, but we're not. I guess they just assume and I don't argue with them. Anyway, that jump into another marriage sounds about as fun as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. At least in my experience. I do hope to spend the rest of my life with someone, but like you, I just don't know if it's in the cards for me. We'll see how this relationship turns out I guess ;)

    xo,
    rue

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